Proverbs 19:13b- A
quarrelsome wife is annoying as constant dripping
We all have a list of things to do, and sometimes we feel
that those tasks will never be accomplished.
When a task has a deadline, it increases the importance of that task,
but what do we do when our spouse or child doesn’t feel the same urgency that
we do? Ladies..we tend to nag them. It’s a natural response. In my case, it’s an issue of letting go and
not having control over the situation.
If I have control over it, then I know that it will get done on my
timetable and I will be able to check it off my list. However, life doesn’t work that way.
This
passage in Proverbs compares a quarrelsome wife to water that constantly
drips. Have you ever had a leaky faucet?
It can be a sound that wears on one’s patience and nerves, until somehow your
brain adapts and you start to tune it out.
That’s what happens when we are quarrelsome or argumentative with
people. We wear on their patience and
nerves until they start to tune us out.
Just last week I texted my son “I’m not going to nag you, but…” . I
guarantee that he didn’t even read the rest of that message.
The
truth is in this world where most homes have two partners working outside the
home full-time, and children with activities packing our calendars, we can get
a little tired which can lead to irritability and stress. I have no doubt that Satan loves to see our
calendars full of activities and that he fully enjoys when we take our stress
out on each other. After all, he would
love to destroy the family unit. There
is no other way he can hurt us so deeply or make us doubt God’s goodness than
when we lash out on those we love and our family unity suffers. We need to learn to pick our battles, and
pick them wisely.
Karen
shares what choosing her battles has looked like in her marriage.
“I spent a good part
of my first few years of marriage nagging my careful, thoughtful, SLOW husband to
complete projects that he started, and to start projects that he didn’t think
of and on and on and on. What helped me
to stop nagging was studying Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages. This book helped me to see the good
qualities that make my dear husband so careful, thoughtful, etc., and it helped
me to see that my nagging was not good for my marriage. I used to create false deadlines to push him
along. I used to try doing things myself
to just get them done which infuriated him.
I used to leave notes and reminders.
I don’t do any of those anymore.
I let normal consequences occur, and that was difficult for me at
first. Now that I don’t nag him anymore,
when I truly do need something done on a timetable, he listens and tries to do
it in a timely manner. We’ve come a long
way baby! Another thing that only God
could do.”
We are
under a lot of pressure to succeed.
Parents feel the pressure to perform at work so that they keep their job
which continues to provide stability and financially for the family. Kids are under pressure to succeed in school
and in their extra- curricular activities.
Home should be the place where we can all come and not feel pressure,
but there are things there that have to be dealt with too.
Jeremiah
10:23 tells us “I know, Lord, that our lives are not our own. We are not able to plan our own course.” God is in control. We are not.
Our homes don’t need to be spotless, we don’t have to be involved in
every activity and win top honors in all of them. In some cases, these issues are prideful and
cause more pressure than pleasure to those involved. If your home runs smoothly, and is a
no-nagging zone, would you share with us your tips for success? Your experiences might help someone that can
relate to your situation. We would love to hear from you!
Passages to Ponder:
Colossians 3:21- Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or
they will become discouraged.
2 Peter 1:5-6 In view of all this, make every effort to respond
to God’s promises. Supplement your faith
with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge,
and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and
patient endurance with godliness.
Romans 8:6- So letting your sinful nature control your mind
leads to death. But letting the Spirit
control your mind leads to life and peace.
Contributors: Karen Bromby and Kim McClure
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