I spent the weekend catching up with friends that I don’t see very often. One was a friend from high school, several were ladies that I taught with, and the rest were women that I hung out with on a regular basis during our time in southern Ohio. We moved from that area to eastern Pennsylvania 7 years ago, and have since moved to northern Ohio. A question I was asked more than once was if I liked living in Sandusky, which I do, and it was mentioned by multiple people that I seemed happy no matter where I live. That always brings to mind that whole Bloom Where You’re Planted thing.
The thing I was surprised about was the number of those women that mentioned missing this blog. I was encouraged to hear them tell me how it helped them through hard times. I have been asked my many people why I haven’t posted in a while and honestly the answer to that has several answers. The main one was that life got really crazy for me with another move coming, transitions with colleges for my kids, blah blah blah. It didn’t feel like blah blah blah when I was going through it. It was heavy and time consuming and I needed time to be fed spiritually instead of feed.
Some of you will think that’s selfish. Honestly, another reason the posts stopped was what people were saying. I always tried to make it clear that I am FAR from perfect, and that I struggle to reflect the light of Christ on a daily basis, but somehow I was still called a hypocrite when I made a mistake. Even though I know my heart and my intentions, it still hurts when you’re called out , and I just didn’t think it was worth it. I’m not a Bible scholar. I’m not a minister. I’m just a normal chick trying to live her faith out loud, and I let the noise of other people drown me out.
It’s easy to sit behind a computer and drag someone else down. My goal of the blog was to encourage and show love. Some of the posts that were written as testimonies by other women were getting negative comments on them. That upset me because those women were vulnerable enough to share their story and because of a venue that I started, negative things were being said to them for the public to see. That was discouraging as well.
So, the posts stopped. I had a group of women that contributed their thoughts weekly and after prayer, I diligently worked to craft their words of wisdom into something that would be a light to other women. Those women didn’t deserve negativity either, so the sabbatical continued…
We are settled into our new home now. Our kids are out of high school, and I’m not working so I have been praying that God would show me how He wants me to use the gifts that He has given me. I knew His answer was to start sharing here again. I actually knew that when I met friends in Charlotte in March and I heard the same things, but I ignored it then. But since that time, the messages, emails and conversations have continued, and I knew it again this weekend when those words of encouragement were said.
I don’t know if it will look the same. For now, I’m just planning to share my thoughts on Scripture that gets my attention, and if it encourages one other person, then I know I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, even though it still makes me a little nervous. But as TobyMac says, “I’m leaving the sweet spot, sure shot and trading it all for the plans You got.” The sweet spot is sitting behind this computer watching Netflix..
The Scripture that woke me up this morning was Jeremiah 17:7-8, “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green and they never stop producing fruit.”
If you’re up for thoughts from a flawed woman trying to reflect the light of Christ I hope you’ll join me on this ride. I’m going to fail at times, but because I trust in the Lord, I hope that some of the fruit produced will nourish a soul or two..