June Hope Chest- Where There Is No Joy, Hope Is Lacking by Kelli Karlich

My husband, Jeff, and I have been married 18 years and have two children, Evan, age 10, and Sarah, age 6.  The three of them are an absolute blessing to me.  We love the Lord and each other very much.  Jeff was saved by Christ as a child but has grown tremendously in his walk with God over the past five years and now is a man of faith and inspiration to our family.  

He is also essential to my message of hope.  Several months ago he went through a period of depression.  During that time, I told him he seemed to have lost his joy.  This was a difficult thing to say to him.  Although frustrated, he knew this to be true and turned to scripture for help.  

God’s word showed him where there is no joy, hope is lacking.  

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.  

As a follower of Christ, he knows he eternally has the hope of Christ.  

Ephesians 2:12-13 Remember that at that time you were separate from Christ…without hope and without God in the world.  But now in Christ Jesus you who were once far away have been brought near by the blood of Jesus Christ.

Since it is impossible for him to ever lose his hope, it became clear he had chosen to stop holding onto and living through the very hope he cannot lose.  He learned he had simply lost his perspective…focusing on himself rather than God.    

Struggling to write this message, I find myself in this same state of hopelessness…overwhelmed with the busyness of life.  While this struggle is one many of us face, I know I can rely on God’s word to get me through this low period just as my husband did previously.  Thankfully, God is shifting my perspective to Him rather than me.  He is giving me a desire to study His word, and have a daily personal time with Him.  I know being more diligent reading God’s word will help me more effectively deal with all other areas of my life.  

When reading in the bible about hope, I’ve noticed it is often accompanied with suffering.  If we choose not to diligently seek the Lord, we can easily become focused on our circumstances (both good and bad!) rather than God. This perspective takes us away from God and not surprisingly takes our hope and joy as well.  I am thankful Jeff and I are learning a closer walk with God gives us hope and joy that this world cannot take away.  

1 Peter 3:15 Sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you.  

Romans 15:4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. 

June Hope Chest- Don't Take Hope For Granted by Terri Millwood

 I use the word ”hope” a lot. We often use it as the root word for hopeful or hopeless or sometimes…..hopelessness. We throw that word around a lot. “I hope you feel better”, we text to a friend. “I sure hope tomorrow is better than today was”, we sigh to a co-worker.
   
  When Kim asked me to contribute to Sunflower Seeds, she told me that I would be sharing something from my own life experiences around the subject of “hope”. I discussed it with my husband, Mark, prayed about the experience to share,  and then recalled how blessed I have been. In my life, I have often taken hope for granted.

    Life for the Millwood family is often chaotic.  The on-going joke around our house is that somewhere in our genealogy, there must be a Murphy….as is the origin of Murphy’s Law.  You name it and we have probably experienced it….near fatal accidents, cancer, job loss, a house fire, a tornado, marital issues,money issues and chronic pain. Three of us….. my husband, my youngest son and I have all had back surgery.  If we were superstitious people, we might consider ourselves some of the most unlucky people on the planet. 

     I wish I could say that I have weathered it all with grace, but I am a control freak. I don’t like chaos and uncertainty.

 The most particularly trying time in our lives was when Mark lost his job. He applied for anything and everything to make it. This included mowing lawns, laying sod and fixing irrigation systems for our neighbors and friends. 

Eventually, he was hired by the Federal government. The position was over 350 miles away. It was well below his experience level, and paid less than half his former salary. We had no idea how we would make it.

        We had four children at that time and homeschooled 3 of them. My youngest was just 3 years old. I was a busy person. As an Air Force Reserve Officer, I was working part-time from home and a couple weekends a month. I volunteered for active duty assignments as much as possible to supplement our income. These assignments were never close to home and my kids often had to stay with my parents who lived 3 hours away. There were many times that I dropped the kids off at my parents (the halfway point from Mark’s job) and then Mark would pick them up for the weekend…..the two of us not seeing each other for weeks at a time. This lifestyle went on for 3 long years. It was taking a toll on our family and our marriage. We were  depressed, irritable, and exhausted.

      The housing market in Atlanta had tanked. We were upside down in a mortgage and our retirement funds were shrinking . We drained at least half of our retirement and maxed out credit cards. Often times, there was simply not enough money for food and I found myself at a church mission, with our children, getting a box to get us through until the next paycheck. Mark lived on microwave meals and packs of crackers while he was renting a room in a boarding house at his new job. He lost 40 lbs. 

      Through all of this, Mark’s grandmother was dying with kidney cancer. We were her only family within hundreds of miles. Actually, I was her only family, since Mark was not living in the Atlanta area. Some days began with the kids and I packing up computers and books and heading with Grandmother to the hospital at Emory University for a day of appointments. She and I were close and seeing her slip away was taking an emotional toll on me. Additionally, I was having my own health issues with multiple breast biopsies and physical therapy for another back injury.

      I was just worn out…mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. 

I remember the day that I collapsed on bathroom floor and just sobbed. I  couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t remember how long I laid there. What I do remember, was hearing a voice telling me to look up, an overwhelming sense of peace….a total surrender, a hope. 

I literally felt like I was being scooped up and lifted back to my feet. I knew everything was going to be okay. Maybe not the way I wanted it to be, but okay. I did not need to “hope” for the end to an illness, a better job for Mark, more money, less pain. These things were temporary and that kind of hope was an earthly hope.  

How had I forgotten to “look up”? I wasn’t seeing God in any of what was going on in our lives. I just wanted to get to the next level in life’s game of obstacles and delays.

     I don’t subscribe to the “name it and claim it” spiritual philosophy….. that if you just pray hard enough for something that God will give it to you. That idea puts us in control. Obviously, the one lesson that I have learned from my life, is that I am not in control. 

God is good and he desire is not to give us the life that we wish for, but a life that is even better than we can hope for. He is good all the time, even when life isn’t. I just had to quit looking a circumstances and start looking through them to Him.

     Hope for me is no longer the expression  of  what I want as a desired outcome. For me, it is the confidence of knowing, with certainty, that there is something better coming in the future. It is in sync with my faith. To quote author and pastor, John Piper, “In my life — and I think it is the intended biblical pattern — hope is like a reservoir of emotional strength”. This is a strength that we draw from when life is coming at us faster than we can handle and we take on more than is humanly possible.

        The life I have now is not something that I would have imagined 6 years ago. Simplicity is my new dream. However, only having lived through those hard times, could bring us to this point. We tried for so long to keep up with everyone else in Suburbia. It was stressful even in the best of times.  

Now, Mark  works 20 minutes away in a job that we never thought possible due to his previous health issues. However, dropping the 40 lbs from his microwave diet, led to a health improvement. He went from an stressful office job to being a Park Ranger… a dream job for him . From the years of frugalness and necessity, I learned to sew, grow and process my own vegetables and make bread…..and I enjoy it. The house, that we struggled to keep, now has equity. Although we can now afford the payments, we dream of buying a small homestead. 

        In our lives, God had placed many people along the way who served God by serving us. It was a huge blessing to see the hands and feet of God in action. Our desire, in all of this, is to be used by God, in a way that would glorify Him, as we show hope to others.

In July of 2013, we traveled to China to adopt my youngest son. If someone would have told 39 year old Terri that she would be the 45 mother of a 4 year old son from China with Spina Bifida, married to a Park Ranger and trying to buy a farm, I would have laughed. It was not anything that I had hoped for. It is better.

February Love Letters- Love Is A Wonderful Thing by Julie Meikle

The saying by Forrest Gump, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get,” resonates with so many in our society.  For the most part, I would agree with this statement. So many times our circumstance take us on paths we never expected and/or imagined. Yet, through each walk, each moment, we are defined and refined and hopefully, it is for the better of others, and ourselves, but mostly for the glory of God.

Our lives and our paths are most often determined by our choices, we actually can choose the type of chocolate, the type of mate, the type of marriage we want…..we don’t need to aimlessly and carelessly hope for the best piece…..then hope we are satisfied.

Today, we are bombarded with the idea that “anything goes,” do what makes us happy, and if things get too hard, then quit and move on to something else….to greener pastures…something that fulfills our immediate needs and desires.” 

Thus, words such as marriage and love become words of convenience and compromise, lacking in faith and commitment.

I must confess, when asked to share my experience and thoughts regarding my marriage, I humbly laughed because I will be the first to tell you that I for sure do not have nor do I claim to have the perfect marriage or life. I also will tell anyone and everyone that marriages should be based on I Corinthians 13, that marriage is hard and requires work and commitment, and that your mate and others will always fail you, but it is our wonderful Father who will never fail us, leave us, or stop loving us.  It is in Him we need to put our trust.

My “love story” may seem odd and unlikely, especially in today’s norm. You, see I fell in love when I was in high school and married my husband shortly after graduation. Everyone (teachers, mentors, close friends and even family) discouraged me from getting married so young.  I was told to live it up and experience life and settle down when I got older.  

Yet, for me I never desired to go out and “live it up” for I believed “living it up” was sharing life with the man I loved.   I had been raised in the church my entire life and was blessed to have a heritage of long marriages in my family from my great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents. 

I knew that my husband, Mark, had all the traits I desired: Christian, country boy, good Christian family, funny, smart, ambitious, and he loved kids. I was just blessed to have found him so early. 

Thus, we vowed on June 20, 1987 before God and our family and friends to love and cherish each other till death do we part. We were going to live happily ever after.

Then life truly began.  

Two bachelor degrees, two master’s degrees and other certifications between the two of us (which equated to almost 10 years of school), two kids, six job changes and nine moves has equated to quite a roller coaster ride. 

People may look at us now and think, “Their lives are so easy…they have all these things.” Yet, they have not seen the sacrifices and/or traveled the long road with us. 

There were many days I didn’t like my husband very much and I know he felt the same towards me. There were days when the kids were sick and we were physically exhausted and wanted to just “get away,” days when he was stressed from work and came home in a mood, days when we were just selfish and ugly, and days when we had to once again tell our children that we were moving because of dad’s work, but one thing was for certain, we had each other and God would take care of us.

We knew our marriage was an investment and that love was not built on “raw physical” (though that is how most of our relationships begin) or just a moment of elation, but rather it’s a commitment, a choice we make to love this person (flaws and all) and grow old with them. Mark and I made time for each other and always tried to share many of the same interests and activities. My needs were different than his needs and we each needed to be in tune to each other’s feelings and desires. It’s a choice we make every day, just as we choose to serve God. It’s a mindset that “I love you just as you are and I’m not going to keep trying to change you, but love you unconditionally like Christ loves his church.”

This past year has been one like no other.  My daughter became engaged in June and married in November. The wedding ring she selected was one with three bands based on the scripture from Ecclesiastes 4:12, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” My daughter and son-in-law know that a strong and happy marriage has God as the center, holding it all together.  My husband and I have prayed for her and the man she would someday marry since she the day she was born and I love that God is faithful and that we are witnessing His goodness.

Today, we are empty-nesters and I am struggling like never before. Twenty years of having a houseful of kids with laughter, noise, fights, and tears…..just seems like it went away……in the blink of an eye. Now, my husband and I are alone again and trying to work through this next chapter in our lives.

While having the “woe is me” attitude last week, my dear friend who just lost her husband of 27 years to cancer called.  She was sad and lonely and needed a shoulder.  The one thing she said has helped me reevaluate and appreciate all those “little things” we all so take for granted: “you know, I have no one to come home and vent to, I have no one to sit with me in church, I have no one to help resolve issues with my kids, I have no one to call to say I made it or I am on my way home.  I have no one to hold me.”

Love is a wonderful thing. 

Marriage is a gift….an opportunity to “do life” with the one we love. Now through much prayer and gratitude, I am focusing my attention back to my husband and to our marriage (though I am still in transition…not going to lie). God has richly blessed me with health, a loving family, wonderful friends, and most importantly a spouse who loves me and shares this life on earth with me. “For every good and perfect gift comes from the Father.” James 1:17 

February Love Letters- Love Can Lift and Heal Your Heart by Bettina Gigliello

It’s a running joke among my friends and family that I possess the unique ability to simply forget negative events in my life.  On many occasions I’ve had conversations with my mom or with friends about a particularly difficult time in my life, and they’ve brought up an event of which I will simply have no recollection.  I consider this a blessing because it allows me to forgive easily.  My father calls this “forgiving to a fault” because I have a tendency to permit someone to hurt me repeatedly before I protect my own heart. 

Needless to say, because of this trait, sharing my story of divorce and finding love again  is difficult because it requires me to open old wounds and delve into a time I simply chose to forget.  It does, however, remind me of the sovereignty of our God, and his deep desire to bless us despite our flaws and failures.  

I hope that this story gives you the hope that true love does exist, that God is incredibly good, and that you do, indeed, deserve to be loved “as Christ loved the Church.”

My first marriage was over about eight years before it was truly over. 

I was married for eleven years.  Seven of those years were spent in counseling, both Christian and secular.  I gave it all I had, and then I hit rock bottom.  The details of how I got there are of little circumstance.  How God lifted me out of the deepest, darkest hole and healed my broken heart is one of the greatest miracles I’ve witnessed. 

I carried the stigma of divorce like some carry the stigma of drug addict, thief, or murderer.  

To me, it was simply not an option.  But as I lay face down on my bedroom floor sobbing and beating my fists into a pillow, I remember simply begging God to help me.  I do not pray out loud, but on that day, I cried out to Jesus.  

My heart was utterly broken. 

I begged for forgiveness for giving up on my marriage.  I remember that prayer as if it were yesterday. 

The peace and calm that came over me was immediate.  God spoke softly in my ear these simple words, “I forgive you.”  

The next months are a blur of memories, both good and bad.  God laid a path before me that was clearly marked.  I leaned completely on him.  I can honestly tell you, the biggest hurdle I faced was the way many of my Christian friends responded. 

The divorce came as a shock to most.  We were young with two small children.  We came to church every Sunday.  Aside from my pastor, my parents, and my best friend, no one knew what went on behind closed doors.  I was not only trying to get out of an abusive marriage, I had lost my home and had to file for bankruptcy.  

The shame was overwhelming. 

One Sunday, a woman in church came up to me and told me that I better reconsider my decision or I would be “damned to hell”.  It cut like a knife.  On the contrary, the support and love I received from most of the congregation was overwhelming.   I focused on that love and my faith to keep moving forward.

Start to finish, my divorce was finalized in less than four months.  I focused on work and my children.  I continued to draw closer to God.  I prayed for him to bring people into my life that would support and love me.  I did not expect him to bless me with the greatest love I’ve known on earth.

The summer before my divorce I had gone on a whitewater rafting trip down the New River in West Virginia with my best friend.  It was a group she had been going with for years.  She invited me knowing how much I had been struggling and thought it would cheer me up.

My husband, Ro, shares the story of us meeting on that trip, and it overwhelms me how intricately God weaves our lives together.   He’d been fervently praying for God to bring him a wife, and shared at our life group a few weeks ago that in truth, he realized, he had been praying for a relationship with his Lord and Savior.  God blessed him with that relationship by bringing me into his life.  He would just have to wait patiently.  No wife has ever heard sweeter words.

We wouldn’t speak again for over a year. 

It was a casual email send out to the entire group that had gone rafting.  That simple group message sparked a series of email conversations and a budding friendship.  He shared that his father had died when he was a baby, and that he had been raised by a single mother.  He reassured me that I, too, was equipped to do the same.  He prayed for me and quickly became the person I could confide in.  

He didn’t know me.  He didn’t have to choose sides.

What happened with time was unexpected but somehow felt completely natural.  Our friendship slowly grew into love. I remembered my prayer of protection.  That wall was still heavily constructed around my heart, but he was beginning to dismantle it brick by brick. 

I didn’t date and turned down anyone who asked.  I was content being a single parent.  I was discovering myself and allowing God to reconstruct me at will.  It was a time of growth and change.  

Ro never demanded anything of me.  He didn’t push his way into my life.  He just seemed to fit, very naturally.  Communication was effortless.  He gradually introduced himself to the children.  They grew to love him as I did.

Three years later we were married.  Next to the birth of my children, it was the happiest day of my life.  Five years later, I’m thanking God for every struggle and heartache that led me to him.  God prepared my heart to receive his love.  Had I not been through all the heartache, I’m not sure I’d have the humility to appreciate a man of his caliber.

I’m astounded when I look at the trials we’ve faced together and how it hasn’t phased our marriage.  He puts his faith before me, and it has made all the difference. 

I used to get so frustrated reading Colossians 3:18, but I finally understand what Paul was saying.  It is easy to submit when you are being loved completely.  I have a husband who doesn’t expect me to control every situation.  He leads our family by seeking God’s will first.  He puts me ahead of himself.  He allows me to be weak, to break, to falter, to get mad, to fail.  He is quick to forgive me when I wrong him.  He is a patient and loving father to two children, who don’t know the love of a biological father.  They are proud to know that he chose them. 

One of the most selfless things he ever said to me was shortly after we were married.  We were discussing the idea of having a child together.  He shared that he didn’t want Sam or Elena to ever worry that he loved his biological child more than he loved them.  We prayed and decided not to have a child together.  The way he loves my children reaffirms on a daily basis that he was brought to me by God himself.  I am blessed.

We aren’t sad we didn’t have one another for the first 33 years of our lives.  We know that God prepared us for one another.  He shaped us perfectly to love one another.  He continues to grow that love more deeply by the day, and we are comforted knowing that we have the rest of this life and the next together.

February Love Letters- Love Is Selfless by Jodi Dunbar

I married my college sweetheart 20 years ago. We have 4 wonderful children ranging from ages 9-17.  

17 years ago, I came to the full knowledge that I was a sinner and in need of a Savior. After hearing that Jesus, perfect and blameless, willingly died on the cross for my sins so that I could have eternal life with Him, I repented of my sins. 

At 27, already a wife and a mother, I was now a new creation in Christ. Praise God!  

For 15 of those years, intense pain had become my companion. Years went by before any answers or healing came. I went from being an active, energetic wife and mom to being bed ridden and isolated.

I battled extreme exhaustion in every way, falling asleep at stoplights and even forgetting where I was going. My symptoms continued to worsen.  

After ten years I was finally diagnosed with Chronic Lyme Disease. 

This disease stole my health and I had no idea the fight I had ahead of me.  I was told that it was time for a wheel chair, that complete healing would never come.

I didn’t have anything to smile about.

Needless to say, we were in our fiercest battle. I had to leave home for 6 weeks for intensive treatment, learn how to give myself shots daily, change how I did nearly everything and accept where God had placed me.

Because of my fear and pride, I didn’t share my suffering with many at first. I was facing vulnerability in my marriage and close friendships, but the Lord provided.

God met me in the valley, fully equipping me. If not through this trial, I would have never experienced such selfless love from my family.

Michael never once treated me as a burden or complained of our circumstance. He vowed to love me in sickness and in health every day. It is a picture of 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Together we understood better what it meant to be one.

Through it all our faith grew as a family. We had to communicate more and think outside the box. Our norm took on a whole new meaning. Michael could not do it all alone and the time had come for us to humbly admit that we needed help.

We have been on the receiving end of sacrificial love. A friend loves at all times. This kind of friendship is a gift from God that is to be treasured. Even though they do not understand your illness or course of treatment these friends remain. They remain not just for weeks or months but for years, taking time out of their busy schedules to hold our family in higher regard. 

I share this because I KNOW that it is not easy to persevere through the storms of life, not knowing if there is an end in sight BUT, take heart dear sisters because I can tell you that God is in fact always good, always faithful and has never forsaken me. Not at my lowest point, not at my worst.  

Chronic illnesses do not just go away so you have to choose to have joy and peace. Striving daily to be thankful and live the highest quality of life you possibly can.

The difficulty of these years and trial does not outweigh the out-pouring of God’s abundant love. Thankfully, I never had to use that wheel chair and I have always had plenty to smile about. Today, the pain and fatigue have both lessened. My memory has greatly improved.

Limitations remain and I continue to strive to continue to regain my health. My quality of life with my family is wonderful and I am even homeschooling our youngest daughter.  

I hold tight to His promises. Romans 8:28, God works all things out for good, to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

It may seem strange to hear but I’m thankful for the valleys I have walked. If it weren’t for these moments, I wouldn’t have learned that we never walk in the valley alone, or known the victory of no  longer being gripped in fear, but instead knowing the overwhelming joy of standing on the Peaks! 

February Love Letters- Love Bears ALL Things by Kim Stein

"I don’t know if I want to ”..

Those words changed my life and those of my family forever. 

That is what my husband, and father to our four children, told me over lunch one day. That was his reply to my request to seek counseling for the distance I was feeling in our marriage. 

Yeah, I was devastated and dumbfounded. 

This was a “man of God” who promised to love, honor and cherish me forever. He held my heart and my forever. Now, he was not sure he wanted to work on our marriage.  That reply was not what I expected at all. I had been thinking we needed a vacation, not a divorce. 

That would come later after the truth would come to light that he was done with me, our marriage, and was involved with another woman.

Love is patient…. Love is Kind…. Love Bears all Things…… Blah… Blah… Blah…

I had to rethink this whole “Love” thing.

The Love for my children I was good with.

Love of my parents, siblings and dear friends – Sure. 

A romantic, passionate lasting love of a man for me???– not so much .

I was certain God had sent my husband and his love to me, but somehow we killed the love that had been between us. We do that sometimes when we allow the storms of life to overtake us. We pull to pieces what God had put together. No person goes outside a marriage that is healthy and whole. God is the only wholeness. God allows us to choose, and now I had to live with choices that were not mine when my marriage ended.

God showed up for me in ways large and small as I fought the dark thoughts that entered my head. “If only I had… If only I was …enough….

My faith family dried my tears, held my hand, listened to me cry and curse, and most importantly prayed with me and for me.  God sent his angels to me in the loving people he put on my path.  They showered me with God’s Love. 

And the healing began..

God whispered in my ear , “You are mine and you are more than enough. My son gave his life so you can have life.  Get up and go live the gift your life really is”.

It is very simple. God’s Love is Patient, God’s Love is Kind. God’s Love bears ALL things - Forever.

That is the only Forever any of us truly need. 

February Love Letters- Love Doesn't Settle by Kim McClure

I always wanted to get married and have a family. However, when I was young, I never really could see it happening for me. There were times when I thought maybe it would, but I’m not sure I would have put the word ‘happily’ in front of the word ‘married.’ The only way I pictured it was settling for someone and  leading a quiet, normal life.

When I told my grandmother that, she told me to pray that God would send the man that I would want to marry and that I would be happy with..not settling. She told me to pray with specificity about the kind of man I wanted God to send. I did. It’s funny when I think back to what the characteristics were that I prayed for, but I remember: liked to play baseball, wore a baseball hat, loved God, loved me, was a good provider and a good father to the two kids we would have, preferably a boy and a girl 2 years apart.

Sound familiar? If you know me, you know that I married a man who played baseball in high school, occasionally wears baseball hats, loves God, loves me, is a great provider and a fabulous father to our two kids who just happen to be a boy and a girl born two years and 4 months apart.

I never had a serious relationship until I met my husband, Jason. I went out with guys and “dated” a few, but each time I thought about marrying that person, I knew I would have been settling. I was one of those people who always considered if the person I was dating was marriage-material or not. I had a lot of friends who told me that was crazy, and just to have fun, but I always thought the purpose of dating was to find a husband, and if that person wasn’t it, why are we wasting time?

I had just ended a rather unhealthy “relationship” (that might be stretching it) in college, when I felt God tugging on me and reminding me to look to Him for guidance, so I did. I made some promises to Him about changing some things in my life, which I still keep 24 years later, and very soon, things started to come into motion.

I was sitting in my room of the Alpha Chi house with several girls discussing guys and how there weren’t any good ones in the world, when my friend Shawna said, “We just need to fix you up with someone nice. Hmmm.” Then she, Jodi, and Tammy all said “Jason McClure” at the same time. I had heard his name before. He was friends with all three of them. I had driven Jodi to his apartment for tutoring in Accounting 215, he had called our room before to talk to Shawna, and Tammy had lived in his dorm freshman year. Shawna set it up, and on January 20, 1990, I went on a blind date that went very right.

We got married in 1992 after graduating from college, and he wanted to move to Cincinnati. I refused to move. We had our first child in 1994, and then our daughter in 1996. 

In 2001, the company he worked for was sold. We were told we could move to New Jersey with the parent company, or he could take a severance package. I refused to move to New Jersey!

The job market in WV wasn’t great, so he found an opening for Controller at Carowinds in Charlotte, NC. He applied and got the job. The VP Finance who was looking at hundreds of resumes said that his stuck out because he went to Marshall University. She was engaged to a man was from the town where we went to college. That’s the reason his got pulled from the huge stack she’d received.

So, we took a leap of faith and moved to Charlotte, and had an awesome 3 ½ years there, and then we moved to Cincinnati. 

Yep, the same place I refused to go to at the beginning of our marriage. Jason was then working at Kings Island. We had a great 3 ½ years there, when he was offered the position of General Manager of Dorney Park in Allentown, PA.

 It was a great opportunity for his career, and the advantages it would provide financially for our kids’  education and future couldn’t be denied. We didn’t even know where Allentown was. The Billy Joel song  as all we knew (and it really isn’t even about Allentown, it’s about Bethlehem, but Allentown sounded better in  he song), but we again took a leap of faith.

 He got into the truck headed to Allentown with a map. We’d never been there. I know it sounds crazy, but we’ve had a great 6 years here. The craziest part? I live 30 minutes from New Jersey.

Yup again, the second place I refused to move to earlier in our marriage. The truth is, no matter where we live, love anchors us and holds us steady.

When I have chosen to trust God, He has always provided.

· My husband is the love of my life. I did not settle, and I can easily put the word ‘happily’ in front   of the word ‘married.’

· I still hold those three girls, Shawna, Jodi, and Tammy, as three of my dearest friends.

· It was God that made Jason’s resume stand out in that stack that started our moving journey.

· I’ve met amazing people through our various locations and jobs, with each bringing growth and

  blessings.

I’m thankful that God has a plan for me and that He waited patiently until I was ready to let Him work in my life. 

My daily prayer is that my children find the spouse that God has chosen for them, and that they will allow God to work in their lives too. My youngest is graduating from high school in June, and my empty nest awaits. It makes me cry occasionally (okay, maybe a lot), but I’m also excited for some one on one time with my hubby in yet another new location. It’s not the quiet, normal life that I was afraid I would have to settle for; it’s so much more.

February Love Letters- Love Complements Us by Elizabeth Daniels

I never thought I would get divorced.  I married my college sweetheart, and knew it was a mistake from the start. Unfortunately, I wasn’t willing to admit it to myself until we had two children and had been married for 9 years. It was a failure I had a difficult time swallowing.

 Out of all of my cousins, I am the only divorcee. My parents (before my mother’s death) were married nearly 56 years. God was probably screaming in my ear before I got married, but I just knew I could make it work.  Well, the joke was on me.

God has always been a part of my life. I was raised going to church, by parents who didn’t preach at me (we didn’t say grace or read the Bible at home), but rather lived by example. We always knew God was around us, never doubted for a minute (at least I didn’t). 

This is not to say my faith hasn’t been challenged. The biggest test was my son developing a potentially life-threatening condition when he was a toddler. I never doubted God’s presence through all of the ups and downs.  I have seen the gifts he has given me. My daughter was born right before my son was diagnosed.  Had I not gotten pregnant when I did, she never would’ve happened. 

My other gift from Him is my husband, Brian.

At the age of 34, I decided to try dating again (I’d been divorced about a year).  This time around, a relationship was going to complement me, not complete me.  The big question was how to meet guys. I lived in a college town, so I wasn’t about to go cruise the bars for a date. I grew up in the church I attended, so every guy there was like family. I eventually did what happens in the 21^st century:   I tried online dating. That is how I met Brian. He contacted me through an online dating site. I instantly recognized him from his profile picture because I had graduated with his sister. As soon as I met him, I knew I was in trouble.

Brian is NOTHING like my ex-husband, and I couldn’t be happier.  Like I do, he feels our meeting was probably divinely inspired. He loves me for who I am and is a genuinely nice guy. We’ve been together more than 10 years, and my stomach still does a little flip every time I see him.  I never knew I could feel like this about someone, and I thank God every day for Brian. There are times I want to kick myself for entering into my first marriage, knowing it was wrong. But all those decisions I made then (by the grace of God) have turned into an unbelievable amount of happiness.

February Love Letters- Love Makes Us Better by Jodi Grimm

Like every little girl, I had always dreamed of my wedding day; of falling in love, building a family, and growing old with someone.  I was raised in a very loving home with an older sister and two loving parents, who always put my sister and me first.  I knew I wanted to create the same environment for my family.

I graduated from college with an Education degree and began my teaching career in the fall of 1998.  After several failed relationships in college, and numerous bad dates, I returned home to my parents’ house as a single college grad.  I was back in the loving home that I so craved to recreate one day. 

Over the next three years I continued to teach middle school English, coach my former high school cheerleading squad, and search for “the one”. I was content, eventually moving into my own apartment and beginning to build my life.  The one thing I was missing in that equation was the love God could have provided me, had I only sought Him first.

I began to have health problems.  What I thought was being sore from softball or cheerleading, or “being too old” turned out to be a long, painful, frustrating road of an eventual diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis. 

I was devastated.

 I was 25 years old, single, my whole life ahead of me, and now I had an incurable, crippling, debilitating disease? My life was over.  Or so I thought.  But still, where was God?  Why wasn’t I searching Him for help?  What was I waiting on?

Fast forward to Fall of 2001, I met my soon to be husband.  He came to watch the football game of our Alma mater, where I was still the cheerleading coach.  To make a long story short, he sought me out after the game, sent me a letter in the mail, and ultimately stole my heart.  

This man was 10 years older than me, but had all the characteristics of “the one” I knew I wanted to find one day.  The only problem was that he had 3 children: a 6 year old little boy, and 2 year old twins.  Wow!  I was young, single, and never been married.  Did I really want to pursue a relationship with this man?

Over the next few months, Mike proved to me the real meaning of a relationship and love.  He went to my doctor appointments with me, he learned how to give me injections to ward off the progression of my disease, he joined an online support club of family members with RA, and all along he was slowly making me realize not only were his children lucky to have him as a father, but I was lucky to have him in my life as well. 

Then tragedy struck.  

Three months into our relationship, my father suddenly passed away without warning.  My entire world crashed around me.  I didn’t feel like I could carry on.  I didn’t feel like living, or breathing, or loving.  But Mike stayed right by my side.  He let me feel my anger, my sadness, my frustrations, my fear. 

And his children, the reason I wasn’t so sure I wanted to get involved in a relationship with him to begin with, kept the joy in my heart.  

They gave me a sense of hope and they brought laughter and sunshine into my rather dark world.  We got engaged 6 months later and planned our wedding a month short of my dad’s one year anniversary of passing.

I was angry in those early stages after my dad passed away.  It wasn’t fair.  How could God take someone so good away?  Where was God when we were grieving?  Why wasn't He there to take the pain away?  

I was searching for God, but I was searching for Him in anger, not searching for the peace and comfort I so desperately needed, and that only He could provide. 

But He was patient.  He was right there all along, lifting me up when I didn’t think I could go on, He was filling me with strength when I was weak.  And He sent a man into my life months before He took my dad home so I wouldn’t be alone.  God had a plan for me.  Finally, I was seeing it.

Mike and I have been married now for over 11 years, and looking back I see God’s hand in every aspect of our lives.  Right after we were married, we found a home church that we have been serving in for over 10 years; from children’s church, AWANA, Sunday school teaching, and even my husband serving as a Deacon. 

Luke is now 19, Emily and Tyler are now 15, and Bryce, whom just celebrated his 8^th birthday,joined our family in January of 2006.  Looking back at my childhood dreams of how my life would be, I never anticipated or included being a step mom in any of it.  But I know God’s plan for my life is exactly the way it should be.  I can’t imagine not having all four of my kids in my life.  Being a step mom requires extra patience and love as you deal with a blended family.  God, and our church, is the center of our family life, and our family holds close to the peace only God can provide.  He has shown me that although as a little girl, I had other hopes and dreams, but as always He knows best, He knew this was what I needed along. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” NKJV

I have drawn strength from those early days when I was struggling with a diagnosis of RA, and when I lost my dad. Had I only leaned on God, I would’ve had so much more peace.  I would’ve wasted less time worrying, less time stressing, and less time with a broken heart.  There have been other obstacles along the way over the last 11 years, but there is nothing that God can’t provide.  He is my comforter, my strength, my rock, and without Him I am nothing.  

I am a better mother, a better wife, a better friend, and a better teacher, when I place my hands at the foot of Jesus and love like only He can.  My hope for my future is to instill the love of Jesus in my children, and to let them know that there is nothing God will place in front of us that He can’t help us with.  I want my children to have a personal relationship with Him and to rest in His lap of peace.  That is my Hope.  And that one day, Jesus will say, “well done my good and faithful servant.”