"I don’t know
if I want to ”..
Those words
changed my life and those of my family forever.
That is what my husband, and
father to our four children, told me over lunch one day. That was his reply to my request to seek
counseling for the distance I was feeling in our marriage.
Yeah, I was
devastated and dumbfounded.
This was a “man of God” who promised to love, honor
and cherish me forever. He held my heart and my forever. Now, he was not sure
he wanted to work on our marriage. That
reply was not what I expected at all. I had been thinking we needed a vacation, not a divorce.
That would come later after the truth would come to light that
he was done with me, our marriage, and was involved with another woman.
Love is
patient…. Love is Kind…. Love Bears all Things…… Blah… Blah… Blah…
I had to
rethink this whole “Love” thing.
The Love for
my children I was good with.
Love of my
parents, siblings and dear friends – Sure.
A romantic,
passionate lasting love of a man for me???– not so much .
I was certain God had sent my husband and his
love to me, but somehow we killed the love that had been between us. We do that
sometimes when we allow the storms of life to overtake us. We pull to pieces
what God had put together. No person goes outside a marriage that is healthy
and whole. God is the only wholeness. God allows us to choose, and now I had to
live with choices that were not mine when my marriage ended.
God showed
up for me in ways large and small as I fought the dark thoughts that entered my
head. “If only I had… If only I was …enough….
My faith
family dried my tears, held my hand, listened to me cry and curse, and most importantly prayed with me and for me. God sent his angels to me in the loving people
he put on my path. They showered me with
God’s Love.
And the
healing began..
God
whispered in my ear , “You are mine and you are more than enough. My son gave
his life so you can have life. Get up and go live the gift your life really
is”.
It is very simple. God’s Love is Patient,
God’s Love is Kind. God’s Love bears ALL things - Forever.
That is the
only Forever any of us truly need.
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